


Ten Little Toes

by senioritastyles



Series: 25 Days of Ficmas [25]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe, Angst, Babies, Fluff, M/M, Mashlum, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 22:40:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9037838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/senioritastyles/pseuds/senioritastyles
Summary: “Hey Ash? What does closed adoption mean?”
Ashton looks up from his book, his glasses sliding down his nose as Michael comes padding into the room in nothing but sweatpants. The blonde is clutching a stack of papers and a pen, standing halfway in the room, waiting expectantly for an answer.
“Uhm...I think it means that the birth parents don’t want to know about the child once they’ve been given to their adoptive family.” Ashton explains, brows furrowed as Michael nods with a smile and starts to walk out of the room without explaining himself. “Why are you asking me that, Mikey? What are you up to?”
 
Or: Mashlum adopt a baby.





	

**Author's Note:**

> (title is from From The Ground Up by Dan & Shay)

Ashton looks at the papers in his hands, his glasses fogged up at the bottoms of the lenses from the hot tears pooling in his eyes. Michael and Calum come racing outside, joining Ashton on the front porch by the mailbox since the oldest boy was too excited to wait to bring the mail inside. There are bills and coupon books scattered at his feet, the only letter he cared about held tightly in his shaking hands. He can’t even find the strength to pass it to Calum’s eager grip, so he just moves it to the side so Calum can see. A gasp leaves the youngest boy’s lips, and soon tears are filling his eyes too and he flings his arms around Ashton’s middle, holding on for dear life in fear that he might collapse. Michael manages to pry the papers from Ashton’s hands, pulling them up to his face and scanning through to find the important parts.

 

“Holy shit.” He mumbles, blinking wetly as he reads it. There at the bottom by all three of their signatures lies a stamp, a big red lettered one that reads “APPROVED”. “We’re getting a baby.”

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

_ “Hey Ash? What does closed adoption mean?” _

 

_ Ashton looks up from his book, his glasses sliding down his nose as Michael comes padding into the room in nothing but sweatpants. The blonde is clutching a stack of papers and a pen, standing halfway in the room, waiting expectantly for an answer. _

 

_ “Uhm...I think it means that the birth parents don’t want to know about the child once they’ve been given to their adoptive family.” Ashton explains, brows furrowed as Michael nods with a smile and starts to walk out of the room without explaining himself. “Why are you asking me that, Mikey? What are you up to?” _

 

_ Michael freezes a few steps from the door and before he has a chance to answer, Calum pokes his head in the doorway, his cheeks a little pink. “It’s more....what  we’ve been up to.” _

 

_ That has Ashton feeling even more uneasy, because when Michael and Calum team up to do something it never ends up being good. They’re mischievous on their own, away from each other, but together they’re like a tornado of trouble. _

 

_ “What have you  both  been up to then? And what does it have to do with adoption? You’re not trying to prank Luke with this again are you? You know how upset that made him last time.” Ashton wonders, his voice  rumbly with the beginnings of a lecture in case that is what they’re up to again as Calum steps fully into the room. _

 

_ “No, making Luke cry once was one too many times for me.” Michael visibly shivers, remembering how heartbroken and terrified Luke had been all those years ago when Calum hand handed him a handwritten letter from Luke’s “birth mom”—Luke had cried for a day straight and called Liz in a fit of rage about why she’d never told him; Michael and Calum had never felt so horrible in their lives. _

 

_ “Yeah, never again, thanks.” Calum confirms, shaking his head. _

 

_ “Then  what are you doing?” Ashton asks, saving his page in his book and closing it, setting it down on the couch table next to the bed he’s sitting on. _

_ He’s impatient, standing up and crossing his arms over his chest firmly, giving Michael and Calum a stern look to show them he means business. The room is infuriatingly silent for a beat too long, with Michael and Calum sheepishly looking at each other to see which one of them is going to be the one to say whatever it is. Ashton’s growing even more skeptical and uneasy as the seconds pass and no one speaks, and he’s not so much angry that they won’t say it but more afraid because Michael’s usually willing to tell him anything unless it’s something that has to do with Ashton. _

 

_ “Can someone please just tell me what’s going on?” He says again, much softer and more soothing to try to coax them to spit it out. _

 

_ Michael sighs and instead of speaking right away, he walks over and hands the papers to Ashton so the oldest boy can see. Michael stands shyly next to him as Ashton reads through the first page Michael had, and Ashton finds with a jolt that it’s the California state adoption questionnaire, the website titles from where Michael printed it displayed just under the document name. Michael has several of the little bubbles towards the top already checked off as the answers to their respective questions. The next question on the form, #10, is a question about which type of adoption “is preferred for your situation”. Ashton flips through the form and sees that there are some 300 questions to be answered, and at the very bottom of the last page is a space for a max of five signatures—two labeled as ‘adopter(s)’ and the other three labeled as ‘reference(s)’. There’s a box under each reference line for a phone number and another just under that for their relationship to the adopter(s). _

 

_ Without looking up, Ashton furrows his eyebrows and tries his best to keep the tremor out of his voice. “You’re filling out adoption papers?” _

 

_ “Yeah.” Calum nearly whispers, his voice clearly nervous as he comes closer to Ashton and Michael. “Please don’t be angry.” _

 

_ “Angry?” Ashton wonders, his voice kicking up an octave as he finally looks away from the page. “I’m not mad I’m just....confused?” He phrases it like a question, because he’s not entirely sure if that’s actually the way to describe how he feels—it’s probably a lot more complex than that, but confused seems to sum it up well enough. “When were you two going to tell me about this?” _

 

_ Michael shrinks in on himself a little, trying for his best apology face. “Uhm, when we needed your signature....probably.” _

 

_ “So you were just gonna apply to adopt a child without talking to me about it until I had no choice but to sign the paper?” Ashton asks, unable to sound as stern as he wanted to just because of the sheer amount of surprise he feels. _

 

_ “Well it sounds bad when you put it like that...” Calum mumbles, kicking his socked feet against the carpet. _

 

_ “That didn’t sound bad to you to begin with?” Ashton questions, still holding the papers up near his face even though he’s not looking at them anymore. _

_ Michael whines shortly, bouncing nervously on his legs. “We just....we were afraid you’d say no and Cal and I have been talking about it for  months  and we wanted to do it so badly, Ash. I know we should’ve asked you before we started doing the forms and researching the information, but we wanted to start doing things and to know everything we needed to before you found out so you’d be less inclined to think we were being rash.” _

 

_ Ashton sighs, slowly taking in Michael’s explanation and thinking about every word before replying. “I suppose I can understand what you mean. And I’m not angry at you, I just wish you would’ve told me sooner.” He cards his hand through the hair on the side of Michael’s head, sliding it around to the back and cupping Michael’s neck to pull him closer. Michael goes easily, leaning against Ashton’s side and holding him loosely around the waist. “If you really want this as badly as you say you do, then we can give it a shot.” _

 

_ Michael’s eyes blow wide, shining with hope as Calum scurries closer and latches onto Ashton’s other wide. “Really?” The youngest boy wonders, his voice hushed with surprised happiness. _

 

_ “Yes really.” Ashton grins, squeezing them both into him for a brief second. “Now let’s go finish filling this out.... together .” _

 

_ Calum and Michael go running excitedly from the room, clambering around and settling at the kitchen table where they had been before they’d come to ask Ashton for information when the internet wouldn’t provide them with a suitable answer. Ashton follows much slower, resorting the papers in the proper order and sitting down in the seat between Michael and Calum’s. He sets the papers down and Michael  hands him the pen, and it takes them several minutes just to answer the questions about their preferred adoption type, although the ultimately decide on a closed adoption. They decide raising a kid would be hard enough without having another set of adults hanging over their shoulders; they decide that they want an infant, and they check off the box about preferring to name the child themselves as well. Hours pass of answering life situation questions and talking about options and they’re all still staring at the pages by the time 1am rolls around. Ashton’s bleary eyes droop as he reads the next question out loud just like all the previous ones, and Michael leans on his shoulder to look at the answer options, pointing his finger at one instead of verbally choosing it. Calum nods in silent agreement, half asleep on Ashton’s other shoulder as the oldest boy fills out that bubble. The last 20 questions are fill-in the blank style, with long empty lines and even some small boxes next to the questions and Ashton internally groans at having to put more effort into it when he can barely keep his eyes open, but he focuses and fills them out one by one. He writes down how many people live in their home (3), how many pets they have if any (0), whether they rent or own their living space (own) and what type of space it is (house). He’s able to answer them all himself since they’re more general questions that don’t require decisions or opinions, breezing through in five minutes. _

 

_ “We have to sign it now.” He announces, straightening up the haphazard stack of papers as Michael and Calum both perk up a little. _

 

_ “We’re done?” Michael asks tiredly, rubbing at his sore eyes as he sits up off of Ashton. _

_ “All the questions are done, yeah, but now we have to decide which of us are going to be the official adopters and which one is the reference.” Ashton tells them, voice bordering on nervous because it feels like a big decision. _

 

_ “Well you’d obviously be one of the adopters, Ash.” Calum says, his tone firm and final like that’s the only logical thing. _

 

_ “Are you sure? It doesn’t have to be me, you know.” Ashton comments, his nerves fully showing at the prospect. _

 

_ Michael nods. “Yeah we’re sure. We were gonna leave the first adopter line empty for you either way.” _

 

_ Ashton puffs out a loud breath, biting his lip and signing his name on the over the first label for ‘adopter’. The words are small and swirly and flourished, curling elegantly against the line provided as he adds the date where it asks him to. When he’s finished it’s clear that Calum and Michael have been having some sort of silent discussion amongst themselves, because Ashton looks up to see Calum nodding with a soft smile that matches Michael’s as the blonde pushes the paper toward Calum. Calum plucks the pen from Ashton’s hand and kisses the oldest boy’s cheek before signing his name on the second ‘adopter’ spot. He passes it to Michael once he’s done and the blonde signs the reference line and writes down his phone number in the box under it, clicking the pen closed once he’s finished. Ashton stares at the trio of cursive names for longer than he should, his head swirling with anxious thoughts until he’s attacked by loud smacking kisses on each side of his face at the same time, making him giggle and smile despite himself. _

 

_ “Alright, alright, quit slobbering on me.” He chuckles, pushes at their chests lightly. “So what, we just put this in the mail now and wait?” _

 

_ “We have to give them the forms with the personal info too, all in the same envelope.” Calum tells him, gesturing to the kitchen counter where two more piles of paper sit, significantly smaller than the one in front of them. _

 

_ “You mean there’s more stuff to fill out?” Ashton whines, hanging his head with a small whimper of displeasure. _

 

_ Michael laughs sleepily. “Yeah, you two have to do it since you’re the adopters. It’s just information about you.” _

 

_ “Like age, full name, occupation, address....stuff like that.” Calum explains, eyes drooping even as he says it. _

 

_ “Okay, well that can wait until morning. I can’t keep my eyes open anymore and neither can the two of you.” Ashton yawns even as he says it, standing up and wobbling off balance for a second before he rights himself and pulls the other two up with him. _

 

_ They go easily, although Michael is dead weight on his feet and Ashton has to half carry him to their room with Calum trailing slowly behind, still clutching Ashton’s hand. They crawl into their  bed one at a time, already dressed to sleep since they didn’t do anything but sit in today. Ashton sleeps closest to the door, ever the protector, with Michael nuzzled against his chest and Calum against Michael’s back. They fall asleep almost as soon as their heads hit the pillows, and they’re out like lights until late the next morning. Around 11am, Michael’s eyes flutter open, lashes tickling Ashton’s chest as it rises and falls slowly against his face. He’s groggy and a bit unaware, but he knows he wants to get up for two reasons: hunger and bladder. The only issue is that he’s wedged tightly between Ashton and Calum and it’s mornings like these that he hates sleeping in the middle because the other two might as well be rocks stuck in the mud—heavy and impossible to move, unless Michael wakes them up. At this point, he’s going to have to because Ashton’s arms are like vices around his back and Calum’s are somehow wedged in between Michael and Ashton and resting on Michael’s stomach. Michael wiggles a bit, trying to find a weak spot in their arm cage, but neither of them  budges even the slightest bit. It makes him groan out loud, knocking his forehead against Ashton in minor frustration before he tilts his face up and starts to lay little kisses along the line of Ashton’s jaw. _

 

_ “Ash...” He mumbles, angling his face to kiss down the front of Ashton’s neck. “Ashton...” He says again, poking his tongue out and licking a small stripe over the Adam’s apple. _

 

_ Ashton hums, snuffling lightly against the pillow and furrowing his eyebrows, clearly about to go back to sleep until Michael licks his neck softly again and his eyes open slowly. “Mike...quit it. M’fuckin’ tired.” _

 

_ Michael knows Ashton’s exhausted just by the sheer fact that he’s swearing like that and it makes him feel a little guilty because they  were  up really late last night, but he still has needs. “Sorry Ash, I gotta get up and you’re squeezing me to death.” _

 

_ Ashton hums quietly, still mostly asleep as he loosens his grip and shuts his eyes again. Michael sighs in relief, kissing Ashton’s chin quickly before shimming out of Calum’s arms too and getting out of bed, nearly running to the ensuite bathroom to relieve himself. He steps back out quietly, his stomach rumbling, and he’s glad that it seems Ashton and Calum are waking up now rather than trying to go back to sleep. _

 

_ “W’time is it, Mike?” Calum mumbles, his voice hoarse and deep like it always is when he first wakes up. _

 

_ “Almost 11:30am.” Michael tells him with a yawn, scratching the skin of his stomach lightly under his shirt. _

 

_ Calum’s eyes blow wide and his jaw drops just a little bit. “It’s that late?” He sounds on the verge of a small panic attack. _

 

_ “Yeah, what’s wrong Cal?” Ashton wonders, sliding his hand around Calum’s and squeezing it to calm him down. _

 

_Calum looks at both of them with worry in his eyes. “The adoption stuff?! We never finished it but it has to go in the mail today otherwise we’ll have to redo and resign the last page with the date on it!”_

 

_ Ashton huffs a laugh and Michael snorts, approaching the bed and kissing Calum’s lips softly. “We’ll be fine, Calum, it won’t take long for you two to fill out the rest of the stuff and the mailman doesn’t come until almost 1pm.” _

 

_ “Yeah baby, we’ll get it all in the mail today I promise.” Ashton assures him, kissing his temple tenderly. _

 

_ Calum whines a little bit anyway, wriggling away from them and hauling himself out of bed, grabbing Michael’s hands and dragging him out of the room. “Come on Ash!” _

 

_ Ashton can hear Michael’s voice trying to talk  Calum down as they get farther away from the bedroom, making him smile as he gets up and follows them, managing to stretch and walk at the same time. When he finally gets to the kitchen table,  Calum already has two neat piles set out in front of two chairs, each with a pen on top as the youngest boy sits on Michael’s lap and squirms impatiently. Ashton would really prefer to get some coffee first, maybe some food before he has to sit down and think about shit, but the hopeful and pleading look in Calum’s eyes makes him pick his glasses up off of the table where he left them and sit down in the chair. He clicks the pen open and gets to work on the three pages of personal information, hearing Calum and Michael mumble idly about Calum’s answers that he’s already started putting down. It takes almost no time at all to finish both sets of papers, especially compared to last night, and Ashton makes sure to immediately grab one of those big yellow-orange envelopes, shoving everything inside and addressing it to the location Michael had written down on another sheet of paper. Calum and Michael follow him like puppies as he walks outside and puts the envelope in the mailbox, pulling up the little flag attached to the side of it to indicate that there is something inside that needs to be taken. He breathes out a long puff of air as he shuts the box and steps away from it, walking back inside and shutting the door quietly behind him, leaning against it as Michael and Calum look at him with nervous happiness. _

 

_ “So now we just....wait?” Ashton wonders, his voice shaking with a combination of excitement and skepticism. _

 

_ Michael and Calum nod, confirming Ashton’s assumption in sync. “We just wait.” _

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

Nearly six months later and they’d gotten their answer, teary eyed and smiling like sunshine one Wednesday afternoon. Ashton had gotten a call from the post office that morning, the bored woman on the phone telling him an important official California state letter was coming in the mail today. He’d gasped and thanked her profusely before hanging up and racing to tell a still half asleep Michael and Calum about it. The two of them had popped out of bed like they’d been bounced off a trampoline, and for the next three or so hours they sat on the sofa by the front window and stared, hardly moving at all as they waited for the mailman to come. Calum actually screamed when he saw the man, and Ashton had to physically hold both of them back until the man was safely away from the mailbox and in the least danger of being tackled or maimed in some way. He’d somehow managed to run outside and get the letter open before either of them, and they’d cried in excitement for almost the entire day after. 

 

\------------------------------------------------------------

“I can’t believe we’re getting a baby.”

 

It had to have been the fiftieth time Calum has said that in the past week, and Ashton rolls his eyes but he can’t help the smile that breaks out over his face. “I know Cal, but we are.”

 

“I just....can’t believe it.” Calum mumbles again, eyes as wide as saucers and staring blankly at the ceiling of their bedroom, his head leaned against Ashton’s hip.

 

Ashton huffs a small laugh and reaches down to pet Calum’s hair away from his face, hearing the younger boy hum quietly in response. Ashton knows he’d been just as surprised to find out that they’d been approved for an adoption, and he certainly shares Calum’s feelings about it all, so he can’t really be too annoyed at the fact that this seems to be all Calum can say anymore. They’ve been in a whirlwind of phone calls and congratulations all week, between parents and other family and friends, and this is the first night they’ve gotten to themselves. Ashton has to admit that it’s all finally hitting him too, that he’s just starting to really feel all the emotions that he didn’t have time for before and he can tell by Calum’s wistful gaze that he’s getting that same sensation. Before he has too much time to dwell on it and worry  himself, the front door slams shut which means Michael is finally back with dinner. Ashton puts down his phone and gets up, reaching back down to help Calum up. Calum purposely becomes dead weight, giggling as Ashton groans and tugs at his arms to try to lift him up. Calum just keeps sliding around the mattress, flopping back down every time Ashton manages to get him to sit up. They’re laughing hysterically at this point, Ashton breathless as he nearly falls on top of  Calum when the younger boy puts his weight back with more force than Ashton was expecting.

 

“What the hell is happening?” Michael asks, standing in the doorway with his arms folded loosely over his chest, voice vaguely amused as he watches his boyfriends struggle.

 

“Calum....won’t...get up....c’mere you fucker, STOP!” Ashton pants, speaking through his laughter as Calum starts kicking at him without any real intention to actually hurt him.

 

“I swear I’ll eat all my food and all of yours if you two don’t get out here soon.” Michael calls, already halfway down the hallway as he says it.

 

Calum and Ashton stop play fighting and look each other dead in the eyes, knowing that while Michael’s tone was all jokes and fun he’s dead serious about eating all the food. They race out of the room together and Michael is already digging into his food, shovels forkfuls of rice and  chicken into his mouth with one hand and playing with his phone in the other.

 

“I thought you’d get up if I threatened your precious food.” Michael chuckles, talking around a piece of broccoli.

 

Calum shakes his head and sits down, dragging over his food container and picking up a fork from the middle of the table where Michael left them. “Because we knew you’d actually eat it.”

 

“True.” Michael confirms, pushing more chicken into his mouth.

 

Ashton pulls his food over to himself as well, eating much slower than the other two. He’s halfway through a bite of potatoes when he notices a rather heavy looking bag at the other end of the table, filled almost to bursting with something Ashton can’t quite see through the mostly opaque white plastic.

 

He puts down his fork and furrows his brow. “Michael, what is that?”

 

Michael looks over from his phone at Ashton’s face first and then follows the older boy’s gaze until it lands on the bag, looking back at Ashton with a beaming smile. “OH! I got magazines.”

 

“Magazines?” Ashton repeats, sounding incredulous as Michael stands up and goes for the bag.

 

“How many did you get Michael?!” Calum squeaks, noticing the obvious weight and girth of the bag as Michael hauls it over and thumps it back down on the table next to Ashton.

 

“I don’t know...a lot?” Michael answers, reaching his hand inside and pulling out almost twenty magazines.

 

“Jesus Mikey, what is all that?” Calum asks, putting his fork down and standing up to lean over the table and grab for the top magazine on the stack.

 

“Are these motherhood magazines?” Ashton squawks, picking one up with his mouth dropped open, staring at the  very  pregnant woman on the front.

 

Michael sits down and continues eating, still beaming proudly as Ashton and Calum flip through the pages. “Some are, yeah. I got parenting ones too.”

 

“Oh my god.” Calum scoffs, staring at an article titled  Lamaze: Is It All It’s Cracked Up to Be? ; he’s not sure he wants to know if it is or not.

 

“I figured,” He starts, swallowing the food in his mouth before continuing, “if we’re gonna raise a baby, we might as well do our research and be fully prepared and since we’re not women we really can’t attend like....support groups, or whatever.”

 

Calum closes the magazine and puts it to the side, nodding his head slowly. “That actually makes sense.”

 

“Hey, I can be smart.” Michael grumbles, shoving another mound of food into his pouting mouth.

 

Ashton huffs, trying to hold back a laugh. “We know you can Mikey baby, but sometimes those  moments are few and far between.”

 

“Ashton!” Michael shrieks, his expression pure shock as he stares at the oldest boy, pointedly ignoring Calum’s quiet snickering.

 

Ashton shrugs, smirking smugly and going back to eating his meal. He has to bite his lip, keeping his amusement at bay, because he can feel Michael still staring at him in disbelief and he can hear Calum losing his mind with laughter to his right.

 

“I hate both of you.” Michael pouts, his fork clattering against the table as he pushes his chair away and starts to get up.

 

Michael gets mostly standing, starting to walk away before Ashton’s long arms sling around his waist and pull him back, the blonde stumbling as his weight is unexpectedly shifted. He lands half in Ashton’s lap with a huff and a scowl, refusing to look at either of them. Ashton noses the younger boy’s shoulder, pushing his face into Michael’s soft shirt to try to get his attention. When that doesn’t work, Ashton tightens his grip and pulls Michael closer to him, situating them so that they’re back to front. Michael goes easily, still pouting angrily although most of it has faded and he more just looks vaguely upset, and Ashton nudges his face into the crook of Michael’s neck and kisses the warm skin in quick spurts, trying to soften him up and the way Michael relaxes back into him proves a victory.

 

“We’re sorry baby.” He murmurs against the skin, keeping his lips on Michael’s neck as he speaks, poking his tongue out in light little licks between words. “We know you’re smart.”

 

Michael hums tilting his head back and to the side to give Ashton more room. Ashton smirks and offers him a gentle bite with an even gentler swipe of his tongue over it after, making Michael smile softly and reach down to grab Ashton’s hand.  “Apology accepted.” Michael mumbles, a small smile on his face as he gently knocks the side of his face against Ashton’s temple.

 

“Good.” Calum giggles, chewing through his bite of food.

 

Michael drags his food over and next to Ashton's, grabbing his fork again and resuming his meal, the silence comfortable and familiar amongst them. They all finish relatively at the same time, Calum and Michael instinctively pushing their dishes towards Ashton with smug little giggles. Ashton rolls his eyes fondly and carefully moves Michael  off of his lap, grabbing the small pile of dishes and carrying them to the sink. He hears the other two pushing in chairs and Calum comes over and steals his washcloth to wipe down the table, kissing Ashton quickly on the cheek before he does.

 

"So, did you guys actually read that letter? The approval one?" Ashton asks over the running sink water, his hands soapy.

 

Michael dumps the trash into the bin before answering. "No, why?"

 

Ashton rinses off his hands and puts the wet dishes on the drying rack, shutting off the water and grabbing a hand towel to dry off with. "It says in there who we're getting our baby from and how far along she is and everything."

 

"Wait really?" Calum wonders, tossing the washcloth back into the sink.

 

"Yeah." Ashton confirms, draping the hand towel over the stove handle so it dries. "Her name is Abby and her boyfriend's name is Daniel. Said they're offering their baby up for adoption because they aren't financially stable enough to handle one right now."

 

"Does she know what she's having?" Calum asks at the same time Michael says, "How far along is she?"

 

Ashton snorts a laugh, leaning back against the counter by the sink. "She's about five months along and no, she doesn't know what the gender is. She didn't want to."

 

"Ah, so it's a surprise to everyone then." Michael nods, and Ashton nods back with a small smile.

 

"We've got some gender  neu tral shopping to do then." Calum grins, skipping off to their room to get ready for bed with Michael  close behind.

 

"Yeah, I guess we do." Ashton mumbles to himself, feeling a lot more nervous now than he was before.

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

Ashton comes home from work the next day carrying a flurry of papers and bills and frayed nerves only to discover that Calum's got their entire guest room all over the living room, furniture taken apart and scattered all over the place and extra linens tossed messily into the hallway, the little knick knacks that they'd put in there for decoration covering the love seat. Michael is yelling from somewhere down the hallway about the best ways to baby proof a home. Calum rounds the corner with his arms full of what looks like a dismantled drawer, ready to yell something back to Michael until he sees Ashton's red and stressed out face.

 

"Ash, calm down okay. I'll clean it up, I promise." Calum pleads softly, gently dropping the wood on the floor.

 

Ashton looks like he's half a second away from either screaming or fainting. "Why--why would you....how did you.....WHAT were you thinking?!" He sputters, staring wide eyed at the absolute mess around him.

 

"I just wanted to get the room cleared out so we could start setting up the nursery...." Calum mumbles sheepishly, his cheeks tinting at being yelled at.

 

"I understand that baby." Ashton starts, sighing as he calms his tone down, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "But you didn't need to take everything apart. The bed, yes okay, that needs to be separated, but the dressers could've stayed in one piece, Cal."

 

Calum's blush deepens. "Oh. I didn't think about that."

 

"Why did I hear yelling?" Michael wonders, coming around the corner with wet hair and only boxers on his still dripping body, one of his beloved motherhood magazines hanging loosely in one hand.

 

"Because Ashton's upset that I took everything apart." Calum explains, kicking at the carpet.

 

Michael scoffs, putting his free hand on his hip and jutting it out like a stern mother. "Don't be mean Ash, he was just trying to get something done."

 

"I'm not being mean, Mike. I was just telling him that he didn't have to take apart every single drawer and that we can move the dressers in one piece. Now would you please go dry off and stop soaking the carpet? That's how you get mold!" Ashton huffs, rubbing his hands over his face and  trying to breathe deeply and not let his exhausted mind get the best of him.

 

"Ash, you know you shouldn't be stressed out like this." Michael says matter-of-factly, flipping open his magazine and stopping on a page that's already dog-eared.

 

Ashton takes his hands away from his face and furrows his brows. "Michael, what are you talking about?"

 

Michael looks up from the page with an expression that says the answer should be obvious. "Stress isn't good for the baby."

 

Ashton's mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water, shock and disbelief written all over his face as he flounders for something to say to that. All he can manage is, "What?"

 

Michael comes shuffling over to the oldest boy, placing a mostly dry hand on Ashton's work shirt, right over his belly button, looking up at Ashton with a very serious face. "Stress isn't good for the baby, Ashton. You should learn to be less stressed."

 

"He's right you know. Stress creates a negative environment for the baby in its most vulnerable state." Calum agrees, nodding solemnly.

 

Ashton's mouth still can't seem to work properly, eyebrows furrowed so far that his entire forehead is creased, confusion overriding everything else. "Stress isn't good for the---you two do know that I'm not pregnant, right? That's not physically possible."

 

"You should try yoga. I hear that's very good for stress." Michael suggests with a small smile, rubbing Ashton's stomach softly.

 

"Michael, I'm not having a baby and my stress is at a completely normal level. Plus, yoga is just stretching for douchebags."

 

"Hey!" Calum shrieks, running over and putting his hands on either side of Ashton's abdomen like he's trying to cover it. "Don't use that kind of language in front of Calum junior."

 

"Calum, I am NOT--"

 

"Calum junior?! We are not naming the baby Calum junior!" Michael argues, turning away from Ashton to face Calum. "Besides, what if it's a girl?"

 

"I still feel that Calum junior could apply nicely to a girl. It's a good name." Calum argues, letting go of Ashton's stomach. 

 

"Sure it's a great name but that doesn't mean our baby has to have it." Michael argues, flailing his arms and nearly smacking Ashton in the face with his magazine.

 

"Boys--" Ashton starts but he's immediately cut off by Calum.

 

"Well why not? I think--"

 

"BOYS!" Ashton yells, shutting them up and getting their attention with one word. "We still have four months before the baby is here. We don't have to do this right now and Michael STOP HOLDING MY STOMACH! I'M NOT PREGNANT FOR GOD'S SAKE!"

 

Michael's hand drops and he and Calum both take a step back, shock written clearly on their faces because Ashton's never ever yelled at them before, at least not like that. Ashton whimpers and falls back against the wall, sliding down with his hands over his face as he tries  t o breathe deeply and avoid the frustrated tears that threaten to fall down his cheeks.

 

"Ashton, what's going on?" Calum asks softly, his voice a lot closer than before.

 

Michael's voice is a lot closer as well when he says, "Yeah, you've been acting really strange since you woke up this morning."

 

Ashton sighs and lets Calum pull his hands away from his face, biting his lip and blinking away the water pooling in his eyes. "I'm just.....I'm so frustrated with work and I'm so scared for this baby to come into our lives and I took it out on you and I'm sorry."

 

"Why are you scared, Ash?" Michael wonders quietly, kneeling next to Ashton and Calum on the floor.

 

Ashton bites his lip a little harder, trying to think of how to word his thoughts without worrying them more than they already clearly are. "I just want to be a good father for this baby but I don't know how to be. I don't know what being a father means and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about any of this. I'm just...scared that I won't be able to handle it."

 

The room goes silent around him and he's too afraid to look up and face his boys so he keeps his eyes on the ground and waits for something to happen. He can practically hear the other two thinking, can hear their minds turning gears and processing what he's said, figuring out how to respond.

 

"Ashton.....why didn't you say so before?" Michael asks, putting his fingers under Ashton's unshaven chin and tilting his head up.

 

"Yeah, if you didn't wanna do this, Ash , we wouldn't have--"

 

"No, no, my god, no. Guys, I wanted to do this as much as you two and I still do. I'm excited for this baby to come into our live s , I'm just scared of what comes after that." Ashton reiterates,  shaking his head to himself.

 

Calum leans in and kisses Ashton's cheek, snuggling into his side. "Ashton, we're scared too you know. None of us really know exactly what we're doing but we can figure it out, babe. Together."

 

Michael nods and cuddles into Ashton's other side. "Together, Ashton."

 

The oldest boy  sighs and chews at his lip, looking first at Michael and then Calum, before cracking a small smile. "Together." He confirms, kissing Calum's forehead. "Now let's get this mess cleaned up. And Michael?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"You might wanna put some clothes on there, big  guy ." Ashton chuckles, watching  Michael blush and quickly stand up, scurrying o ff towards their bedroom to get dressed.

 

"I really am sorry about the mess, Ash." Calum mutters, letting Ashton help him up off the floor.

 

Ashton shakes his head with a fond smile, ruffling Calum's hair. "It's alright babe, we can fix it."

 

Calum nods with a crooked smile and together the two of them start the clean up process, much more organized and quick than when it was just Calum taking the room apart. Michael even helps, which is a first, his still damp hair flopping into his eyes as he helps Ashton carry the dismembered furniture into the garage while Calum finds new homes for the decoration pieces. Together, they get the room completely emptied in less than an hour and Ashton starts heating up some  left over food for dinner. Calum and Michael  settle down on the couch with a movie playing, snuggled close together and whispering about something Ashton can't quite hear. He brings their plates of food out, handing one to each of them before sitting down with his own and shoving a forkful into his mouth.

 

He swallows it down before turning to the other two. "What were you out here whispering about huh?"

 

Michael looks over, talking around a mouthful of food. "We were trying to decide how we should paint the baby's room."

 

"Yeah, like what colors and stuff." Calum adds, his fork scraping against his plate.

 

"And what have we decided?" Ashton wonders, tuning out the sounds of the movie.

 

Calum shrugs. "Nothing yet, except we want it to be animal themed."

 

"What kind of animal?" Ashton asks, nodding in agreement with the plan so far.

 

"Something cute and small and squishy." Michael decides, nodding to himself.

 

Calum snorts a laugh, chewing through his food as Ashton speaks. "So you wanna put Calum on the walls."

 

"What?!" Calum squeaks, eyes wide and his lips stretched in a smile. "I'm not small."

 

"Maybe not, but you're cute and squishy and two out of three ain't bad." Michael confirms, placing a chicken flavored kiss on Calum's cheek.

 

Calum rolls his eyes but doesn't say anything more, focusing on eating his food and watching the movie Michael picked. The rest of dinner carries on in general comfortable silence and Ashton gets up to do the dishes after everyone is done, standing at the sink and thinking about how they only have four month left to get everything ready for this baby. Calum was smart to have started the process and at least moved it along but there's still so much to do in such a short amount of time and it's not like they can stall for it—when the baby comes, it comes and there's no stopping it. They still need supplies, furniture, paint, clothes, food, everything a baby requires and all they've done since finding out is empty out a guest room. Ashton dries his hands and walks back out into the living room where Michael and Calum are still snuggling on the couch, leaning against the wall and thinking for a second.

 

"Boys," He calls, waiting until he has their attention before continuing, "let's go shopping."

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

"Hey, what about these ?" Calum calls from halfway down the paint swatch aisle.

 

Ashton and Michael look over and walk to him, checking out the  swatches Calum's pointing to. It's a really light  color, almost like a white with a wash of grey in it, and he's got it held up next to a generic white color and a golden-yellow. The combination is sweet and soft and it's a good base for a lot of different designs they could go with, and it's way better than Michael's suggested lime green and orange combination.

 

"I like it." Ashton says, squeezing Calum's shoulder lightly before looking to Michael for confirmation that the colors are good.

 

Michael takes another look at the swatches before nodding and letting Ashton go over to the worker at the specified paint section checkout area, telling the man which colors they need and how much of each. They amble around the store as they wait for the paint to be mixed up and ready, looking at random stuff they definitely don't need just to waste time. They're out of there with their paint and painting supplies in no time, heading to another store to search for furniture and  bed ding . They pick out simple white furniture, a crib and two dressers and a changing table and a rocking chair that all match, stuff that Ashton will end up having to put together after the room is painted.

 

"Alright, now let's look for some animal bedding." Michael squeals excitedly, grabbing Calum's hand and running towards the baby sections.

 

Ashton catches up when they're already halfway down the aisle of crib bedding, having to push the heavy cart full on furniture boxes and he's happy to see they're actually looking in the correct size section. Michael's got his hands fluttering all over the place, looking for something with animals on it that catches his eye. There's plenty of choices, from lions to giraffes to frogs, but none of them seem to catch Michael's eye. Calum is looking around a lot more calmly, examining the options and smiling at all the cute chubby looking creatures on the bedding. Ashton looks on the other side of the aisle, making sure he's still in the right size range before going to work and trying to find something small and cute and squishy, as Michael so aptly put it. He comes across something that fits the bill perfectly but he's not entirely sure what kind of animal it is so he picks it up and looks for some sort of indication, unaware that Calum and Michael's collective attention has turned his way.

 

"What is that?" Calum says at the same time Michael squeaks, "That's adorable."

 

Ashton looks at the label on the shelf just above where the price is, happy to have found a name he thinks is for the animal. "It says it's a 'quokka'."

 

"Oh! I love those little guys." Calum grins, taking the set from Ashton and further examining the animal's chubby little cheeks that make it look  like it's smiling, it's body almost rat-like but about the size of a cat.

 

The design of the animal is cartoonish, exaggerated features and face squished up more than would be natural to give an extra sunny smile, printed in different positions and with different accessories all over the simple white bedding. It even has some yellow accents and the quokkas are printed in grey so it fits perfectly with the color scheme of the room, so they put it in the cart on top of the smaller furniture boxes and Ashton even tosses in a knitted yellow throw blanket before they make their way to the checkout lines. Ashton pays easily but it's a lot harder of a task to pack it all in the car, the trunk overly full and the backseat flowing with bags full  of diapers and baby wipes and special baby soaps and other various items that Michael saw the word 'baby' on and had to throw in the cart . The drive home is slow and steady and full of mindless chatter about how they should put quokkas on everything to match the sheets and Ashton can't help but laugh because he knows in the end he'll be the one doing all the work that the other two have planned, but that's okay with him as long as it makes everyone smile, including the baby.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Ashton has splatters of grey paint all over his shirtless torso and his low slung black joggers, his hair protected by the black bandana he's got tied around his head. The paint roller in his hands is soa ked in grey-washed white, covering the once peachy toned walls with each push up and down, the blue tape protecting the trim around the base of the room so it can be painted white later. He's humming to the portable radio he's got playing in the corner of the room that's already been painted and dried, covered in a light sheen of sweat that shines off of his back muscles when they tense and unwind as he paints. Ashton turns to get more paint on the roller, about to bring it back around to the wall when he feels a pair of arms wrap around his ribs. He jumps just a little before turning his head and seeing a smiling Michael behind him but he's not alone. Calum is right there too, just on the other side of Ashton, snaking his arms around the oldest boy just under where Michael's are resting.

 

"What are you two doing?" Ashton wonders, quirking an eyebrow and putting the roller back in the paint so it doesn't drip anywhere while he's not using it.

 

Calum and Michael  place a kisses on either side of Ashton's back, right where the muscle flexes when he bends his arms. "You look sexy." Michael admits, hooking his chin over Ashton's shoulder and smiling at him.

 

Ashton scoffs and rolls his eyes shaking the two of them off and turning around to face . "You know what would be sexy?" He asks, watching them shake their heads at him as he steps closer and nearly puts his lips right on Calum's but instead he speaks in a low rough voice. "Some help from my boyfriends."

 

Calum whines and shoves at his chest. "You asshole, I got excited."

 

"Hey, don't swear around the baby." Michael demands, putting one hand on his hip and the other on Ashton's exposed stomach.

 

"Michael, for the last fucking time--"

 

"Don't swear!" Michael repeats, looking at Ashton with wide mischievous eyes.

 

Ashton rolls his eyes. "Fine, I won't. But for the last time, I am not nor will I ever be pregnant, Michael. The baby is not in here." Ashton explains, gesturing to his stomach in exasperation.

 

Michael and Calum have been keeping this game up for days, purposely giving Ashton extra food since he's "eating for two" and telling him that  certain things aren't good for the baby and that he should be more careful, and it's driving him insane even though he knows they're just messing with him. He'd be wildly concerned if they were being serious, but really they're just trying to push his buttons and make him laugh since he's been hung up on this whole "being scared" thing. He's actually surprised that it's working, distracting him from all the toxic thoughts and dealing with his boys tires him out to the point that he can sleep at night instead of tossing and turning and thinking about all of his fears.

 

"Anyway," Calum continues, looking around the room and trying to pick out a spot Ashton hasn't painted the light grey  yet, "it looks like you have the room done for the most part."

 

"Yeah, just that part needs to be painted." Michael points, gesturing to the spot Ashton was about to start working on before the other two came in.

 

Ashton shakes his head and picks up the roller again, getting some of the excess paint off before rolling it over the wall. "You two could start painting the trim over on the other side since that's been dry for a day and a half." He suggests, sincerely hoping they'll take the bait and help because his back is killing from all the bending and flexing.

 

There's a pause of silence behind Ashton as he's painting and he's a litt le afraid they've left the room until Michael speaks up again. "We just paint it white?"

 

Ashton huffs a short laugh. "Yeah, just take the smaller brushes over there and the can of white paint and be careful."

 

He hears shuffling behind him and he's happy to discover that Michael and Calum have actually picked up paint brushes and are over kneeling on the floor with the can of white paint between them. They get to work pretty quickly and when Ashton finishes the actual wall paint he grabs a brush and follows them around the room, cleaning up their work around the edges with the wall color on his brush. Together the three of them have the room finished in half an hour, stepping back to admire their handiwork, Ashton still the only one sweating.

 

"It looks kind of plain." Michael says, tilting his head to the side and examining the bare grey walls.

 

Ashton looks over at him with a slightly annoyed expression. "Well it's not entirely done. The furniture still has to go in and I have to paint that quokka design you asked for."

 

"Yeah, so shush you dick." Calum adds, sticking his tongue out at Michael.

 

Michael's jaw drops and his face takes on a mischievous expression before he reaches forward with his still wet paint brush and swipes it down Calum's bare arm, right under where his t-shirt sleeve ends. Calum's eyes narrow and he takes his own paint brush, raking it down the side of Michael's neck and all the way down the front of his shirt.

 

"Boys, that's enough." Ashton calls, knowing it'll get out of hand if they continue and Ashton will end up having to hose them off  out back .

 

What he's not expecting is for the both of the flick their paint brushes at him, the excess wet paint splattering his face and neck with little white dots. He clenches his fists on a humorless laugh, flexing his bare muscles so Michael and Calum know they're in trouble, dropping his paint brush on the clear plastic tarp the laid across the carpet in the room. 

 

"You're in for it now, you little shits." Ashton growls, smirking at them with narrowed eyes.

 

Michael and Calum giggle, their brushes dropping too as they flee from the room in a fit of shrieking laughter. Ashton gives them a few seconds to run before he takes off after them, listening for the breathless chuckling he's sure will be accompanying them.  He hears them down the hall towards the laundry room so he walks as quietly as he can to the door, putting his ear against it to make sure they're actually in there before be throws the door open.

 

They look like giggly deer caught in headlights, Michael trying to wiggle himself behind the washing machine, and Ashton can only laugh. "Gotcha."

 

He steps forward and easily swoops Michael up over one shoulder, struggling a little to get Calum over the other but he manages it, carrying the squealing pair of boys back towards their own bedroom.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

"Michael , that's not how you put a screw in." Calum repeats, correcting the older boy for the second time now.

 

Michael sighs in exasperation, his jaw tense and he narrows his eyes and looks over at Calum. "Calum, if you say that one more time, I'm gonna put a screw in you."

 

"Well it wouldn't hurt because you don't do it right." Calum counters, sticking his hip out and putting his hand on it.

 

Ashton, once again shirtless and splattered with paint and minimal sweat, pops his head out of the baby room and waves his yellow coated paintbrush at them. "Knock it off, you two. I'm gonna be done in here soon then I'll help you put the furniture together. Just relax, okay?"

 

Calum and Michael deflate from their defensive postures, nodding and putting the tools down before following Ashton into the bedroom, and sitting down against the far wall together, watching the oldest boy finish painting the white tree with yellow leaves, a few happy quokkas scattered among the branches and the base of the tree. Ashton paints on one last leaf right at the top, stepping back and giving his work a once-over before nodding and putting the brush back down on the styrofoam plate he'd used as a paint palette.

 

"Looks really good, Ash." Calum admits, holding Michael's hand tightly from their position on the floor.

 

Ashton smiles and looks back at them. "Thanks, babe."

 

Calum nods and Michael looks a little teary eyed as he stares at the wall Ashton's just painted. "This is really happening." He sniffles, laughing softly. "We're really getting ready to bring a baby into this house."

 

"Into our lives Mikey." Calum smiles, kissing Michael's cheek as Ashton kneels down and joins them on the floor.

 

Michael nods and Ashton leans in to kiss his lips softly. "You're adorable."

 

"Hey, what about me?" Calum pouts, perking up when Ashton moves over to kiss him too.

 

"Of course you're adorable too, Calum." Ashton says, shaking his head fondly before standing back up. "Now come on, let's build some furniture."

 

Ashton helps Michael up first and then Calum, going back into the living room to bring the furniture pieces into the bedroom. With Ashton's help they get the crib built quickly, setting it up against the wall with the quokka tree by the foot of it. Michael gets the quokka sheets on the mattress before putting it in the crib, tying the little yellow cloth border around each corner of the crib so it covers some of the slats from inside the crib. Calum puts the knitted yellow blanket at the foot of the mattress, folded into a neat rectangle.

 

"It's so cute." Michael squeals, hands flailing dangerously close to Calum's face as Ashton gets started on putting the dresser together.

 

There's a moment of quiet where they all just seem to be taking things in before Calum speaks up. "Hey, we get to choose the name, right?"

 

Ashton looks up from the instruction pamphlet as Michael and Calum turn to look at him. "Yeah,  we do. But we don't know the gender of the baby."

 

Michael nods, seeming to catch Calum's drift. "We should probably start thinking about names either way. We only have like three and a half months before the baby gets here."

 

Ashton sighs and nods, knowing they're right as he turns a screw to put one of the drawers together. Calum comes over to help put together more of the drawers and they all seem to be thinking hard about baby names.

 

"If it's a boy, I think we should call him Carter." Michael suggests, nodding his head and sitting on the floor with the other two. "Carter Alexander Irwin."

 

"Irwin?" Ashton looks up, eyes wide in wonder. "We're giving the baby my last name?"

 

Calum and Michael shrug like it should've been an obvious choice. "Well, you're the oldest and if we ever officially got married we always said we'd want your last name, so it makes sense." Calum explains, a small smile on his face.

 

"Okay, wow." Ashton blinks rapidly, shaking his head and trying to dislodge the odd emotional build-up he can feel coming. "Well, then you two get to pick the first and middle name, not me. It's only fair."

 

The other two agree easily enough, helping Ashton put the actual dresser structure together since it requires more than one set of hands. "Well, I like Carter Alexander for a boy so that's settled." Calum decides , nodding as Ashton puts the final screw in the dresser and they start stacking the drawers into the metal tracks.

 

"Okay so we just have to figure out a girl's name." Michael confirms, waiting for Calum to nod before he started thinking, watching the other two pick the dresser up and move it into the far corner of the room.

 

Ashton immediately starts on the changing table pieces, trying to figure out which parts go where according to the instructions. It's the piece Michael had been trying to assemble earlier, and the poor boy had the parts jumbled so badly that Ashton could barely tell what was what, having to take it all apart first before he can start putting it together the right way.

 

"What about Lynn? Lynn's a pretty name." Calum suggests, the smile on his face almost far-away, like he's thinking of someone he knew and loved once.

 

Michael shrugs and nods. "It is pretty but it doesn't scream 'our baby'."

 

"Well it screams 'my baby'." Calum mumbles mostly to himself, passing Ashton one of the small screws that he needs to put together another piece of the changing table. "Lynn can be my baby's name, no one cares about yours."

 

"Calum, you do realize we're only getting  one baby, right?" Ashton comments, breaking his concentration and looking up at Calum's pouting face.

 

Calum huffs but confirms that he does, in fact, know. "So if not 'Lynn', then what should it be, oh almighty baby  namer ?" He wonders, voice laced with biting sarcasm.

 

Michael rolls his eyes but he's smiling all the same. "I was thinking 'Olivia'."

 

"And what about a middle name?" Calum wonders, not willing to admit that he likes that name a lot.

 

Michael shrugs. "I was thinking you should pick it."

 

Calum feels bad for being a dick when Michael says that, deflating and glancing up at Michael's serene face. "Oh. Okay....uhm, Olivia's good."

 

Ashton nods in agreement. "Olivia is a perfect name."

 

"So what'll it be for the middle name then?" Michael wonders, watching Ashton finish up the changing table and move it on his own to sit against the wall right next to the dresser, the only piece left to assemble being the chair.

 

Calum leans back and rests on his hands, staring at Ashton's muscles while the oldest boy twists the back section of the rocking chair together. "What about....Koha?"

 

"Koha?" Ashton repeats, tilting his head curiously. "Is that Maori?"

 

Calum nods, a smile playing at his lips. "Yeah, it means 'gift'."

 

"It's perfect." Michael breathes after a moment, his face lighting up with a soft expression.

 

"Olivia Koha Irwin." Ashton tries, scooting the finished rocking chair over in front of the window and right next to the crib. "It's beautiful."

 

Calum bites his lip on a smile, looking up at Michael for further confirmation. Michael nods and it feels final, like a decision has been made and another step forward brings them closer to the day they get to hold their little baby in their arms. It feels happy, as sunny as the yellow accents in the room glinting with the fading sunlight coming through the sheer white curtains.

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

The phone rings somewhere close to 2:30am on a Wednesday night a few days after Christmas , shrill and bright from the nightstand next to the bed and jolting all three boys from their sleep. Ashton's hand slaps down on the brightness, pulling the phone from the nightstand and squinting at the screen, trying to read the name on the top of the call. It says "Abby", the mother of the child  their adopting, so Ashton is quick to hit the answer button before he misses the call.

 

"Hello?" He says quickly, suddenly much more awake since Abby's only started texting him with updates in the last two months of her pregnancy.

 

"Ashton?" It's Daniel, the father of the baby, and he sounds both happy and scared.

 

"Daniel, what's going on? Is Abby okay?" Ashton wonders, alerting Michael and Calum who were just starting to fall back asleep.

 

There's a quiet and unsure laugh from the other end of the phone. "Abby's fine, nothing's wrong it's just......her water broke, Ashton. We're at the hospital and the baby is coming. She's about to go into labor." Daniel explains, and when Ashton listens closer he can hear the soft bustle of noise of a hospital.

 

"Oh my god....oh my god, okay. Okay, Daniel, we'll be there as soon as we can." Ashton assures him, hanging up after the boy's short goodbye and jumping out of bed.

 

"What's going on?" Calum grumbles, still half asleep but hanging on to Ashton's every movement as the oldest boy flits around in a flurry of limbs and clothes.

 

Ashton stops and looks up over at them, one shoe  on and his arm through the head hole of his t-shirt. "Abby's water broke, she's having the baby tonight, now get up and get dressed. We have to get there, hurry up."

 

Calum and Michael get up at the urgency in Ashton's tone, dressing  themselves quickly and pulling shoes on by the time Ashton's calmed himself down and managed to get dressed properly. The oldest boy leads the procession out to the car, making sure he's got his keys, wallet, phone; everything he could possibly need plus the  car seat and baby supply bag his mom brought them a few weeks ago, both already in the car. He gets in the driver's seat and takes a deep breath before starting the car and backing out of the driveway. The drive to the hospital isn't long, especially at nearly 3am when there's only maybe one other car on the road and stoplights change fast. The parking lot of the emergency area is surprisingly empty when Ashton pulls in, parking fast and doing his best to walk at a normal pace toward the automatic doors that lead to a desk with a small woma n sitting and typing away at a computer.

 

Michael and Calum hang close behind Ashton, all three out of their element in this situation but Ashton at the very least know he should give the woman a name when she asks why they're here. "Uh, Abby Wallace, we're here to see her. She's having a baby."

 

The woman nods and starts typing again as she speaks. "Are you family members?"

 

"Uh, no." Ashton admits, shaking his head, feet tapping out of impatience because his damn baby could be born any minute and he wants to be there. "We're uhm, we're adopting her baby."

 

The woman actually looks up at him when he says that, clearly sizing up their sleep-mussed and messy appearances, seeming to decide that in the end it's none of her business. "You can be in the waiting area of the maternity bay but you can't go in the room because you're not family." She says simply, handing them  viste r's passes and pointing them in the direction the elevator. "Just go up to the third floor and tell the woman at the desk up there who you're here for and she'll let them know."

 

They all nod and hurrying off, Ashton bouncing on his feet the entire short ride to the third floor maternity bay. Michael gives the woman Abby's name when they get there and she nods, scurrying towards the employee door to notify the people in the room with Abby. The boys all takes seats on the too-firm cushioned chairs in the waiting lobby, idly watching the TV that's playing and trying to sit still in the uncomfortable silence that follows their anticipation. The main door to that leads back to the rooms swings open and a gangly boy comes strolling through, his short dark hair ruffled up like his hands have passed through it numerous times.He easily scopes out the three waiting boys since they're the only ones in the waiting room, his eyes glassy and his smile tired. He approaches them happily though, looking for all the world like it's the best day of his life.

 

"You must be the guys who are gonna take our baby?" He asks, sticking his hand out when Ashton stands up and nods. "I'm Daniel, it's nice to formally meet you."

 

"Ashton." The oldest boy introduces himself with a soft grin, cueing Calum and Michael to stand up and do the same.

 

"How's Abby ?" Michael asks, his voice still rough from sleep but his concern genuine.

 

Daniel sighs. "She's alright, they just gave her the epidural and her contractions are coming closer together. They think she could have the baby any time now."

 

"Oh man." Calum says, eloquent as ever, eyes blowing wide as Daniel laughs quietly.

 

"I know, it seems like it's happening so fast. One minute we find out she's pregnant and the next she's having the baby." Daniel shakes his head just as the nurse from before comes bustling out of the main door, holding it open and gesturing for Daniel.

 

"It's time!" She shrieks, looking excited as Daniel gives the three of them one last smile and runs off.

 

Calum quickly sits back down on the uncomfortable chair, Michael following suit but Ashton stays standing, paralyzed with the overwhelming knowledge that this baby is coming right now whether they're ready or not. The thought has his hands shaking nervously, his feet carrying him back and forth across the stiffly carpeted floor quickly. He bites on the longish nail of his right thumb, tearing it off probably too far down but he doesn't care about the pain right now. He paces for what might have been hours, back and forth along the entire length of the room while Michael and Calum are dozing off in their chairs, hands linked over the wooden arm. Ashton can't even take a minute to appreciate how adorable they are together before doubtful thoughts are crashing over him like waves, drowning out everything else until he can barely think straight enough to get their attention.

 

Michael notices Ashton's inner struggle, can see the distress on his face, and he nudges Calum up too, gesturing at the oldest boy. "Ashton, why don't you come sit with us?" He suggests softly, his voice just enough to draw Ashton out of his turmoil and make him look over.

 

Ashton's not sure he'll be able to sit still right now but the embrace of his boys looks too inviting to pass up so he nods slowly and makes his way over, breaking away from the straight-lined rut he was surely digging into the floor. He sits directly on Calum's lap, facing Michael as he leans back into Calum's chest and lets the youngest boy wrap his arms around Ashton's small waist, holding tightly.

 

They're all silent for what seems like forever, just heartbeats and ragged breathing and tired eyes, until Calum's head perks up at the sound of Ashton sniffling. "Ash, it's gonna be alright, remember? Together, babe."

 

Michael reaches over and squeezes Ashton's much larger hand, providing comfort as he looks into the watery hazel eyes that he loves so much. "Together, Ashton."

 

Ashton takes a shaky breath and  lets Calum wipe at the small tears before they can fully escape his eyes, nodding as resting his head back on Calum's shoulder. "Together, I know. I'm still scared though. What if, even  together, we're not ready for this?"

 

The younger two can't help the silence that falls over them with that statement, the reality and anxiety of the situation setting in as Michael takes a deep breath. "Ash--"

 

He's immediately cut off by the door bursting open, a flustered looking nurse that they haven't seen before popping out and smiling at them through what they're sure is the exhaustion of the graveyard shift. "Boys, I think you're going to want to come back now." She says, waving her arm grandly and standing at the door to hold it open.

 

Ashton's  sniffles have stopped cold, his entire body going to jelly as Michael stands and pulls him up, Calum getting up immediately after Ashton's weight is gone and grabbing Ashton's other hand as they walk toward the door. The nurse's smile is wide as she leads them quickly down the straight and wide hallway, stopping at a room on the right and ushering them inside. The sound of a baby crying is like unexpected  music to their ears, all having done plenty of research thanks to Michael's magazines and knowing that crying is a sign of a healthy baby. There's a curtain pulled all the way across the room, blocking it from view even as they step through the door. The nurse  ha lts them and throws the curtain around herself as she passes it, her murmuring voice carrying through even over the cries. Ashton can feel more nerves settling in his stomach and he can feel how nervous the other two are as well, years of practice in tuning in to their feelings doing him good as they wait.  The nurse's blonde head pops back out from behind the curtain and she jerks it to the side, allowing them to follow her around into the room this time. Ashton's eyes are welling up with more unshed tears as he enters the room first, but everything in him stops on a dime when he takes in the sight before him. An exhausted looking Daniel is smiling down at a sweaty and even more exhausted looking Abby, the young brunette cradling the crying newborn with a giddy laugh pushing past her lips. She's crying happily, stroking the baby's cheek gently and whispering a soft 'hi' before looking up and giving the boys that same watery smile.

 

"Congratulations boys, you've got yourself a daughter." Daniel announces, briefly looking at them before turning his attention back to the quieting little girl in his girlfriend's arms.

 

Ashton's laugh is gasping and full of happiness, tears spilling over onto his red  cheeks and he can see Michael and Calum crying quietly too. Daniel waves them closer with a look of pure content, the three boys approaching quietly and standing on the side of the bed opposite to Daniel, staring down at the beautiful girl who's sweet brown eyes are barely open.

 

"Say hi to your family, sweet girl." Abby whispers, her finger still stroking the baby's face as she smiles down at the girl.

 

Ashton can feel his heart swelling, expanding in his chest as he looks at the little girl and smiles, all nerves and anxieties melting away at the sight of her plump little face looking back at him.

 

 

"Hi." He greets, cautiously reaching his long finger down and running the back of it over the baby's small chin.

 

A male nurse in blue scrubs comes into the room quietly with a female doctor, the woman holding a clipboard that she's hastily  scribbling on. "Good morning everyone." She greets, looking at the ragtag group of people before her with a surprisingly chipper smile considering it's five in the morning. "Congratulations on this adorable little girl."  There's a muddle of five different voices thanking her, tired chuckles following suit and quickly dissipating into silence once more as the doctor continues speaking. "We just need a name for her ID bracelet."

 

All attention suddenly turns on the three boys standing to Abby's left, the responsibility of a name falling to them. Ashton's extremely glad that they've already had this conversation and that it's a decision they've agreed on. He spares one last glance at Calum first then Michael, then Abby and Daniel who are looking at him with small smiles of  encourage ment, before he swallows the emotional lump in his throat and looks back up at the waiting doctor.

 

"Her name is Olivia." He says, biting his lip before grabbing Calum's hand. "Olivia Koha Irwin."

 

\------------------------------------------------

 

Michael is hugging Abby tightly while Calum shakes Daniel's hand, Ashton holding firmly onto the baby carrier that hooks into the car seat, a peacefully sleeping Olivia inside. It's been two  days since she was born, and with no health issues for her and Abby, they were both discharged as soon as they could be. Ashton's already said his goodbyes, promising to keep Abby and Daniel in the loop if anything major should happen, and when he looks down at the baby he's grown quite attached to over the past few days, he couldn't be happier. He knows it's going to get harder from here, that the actual weight of taking care of a baby all day and night is going to hit hard once they get home, but he's still ecstatic and a lot more so than he thought he'd be. He waves one last time to Abby and Daniel before following Michael and Calum to the car, gingerly swinging the baby carrier up and setting it in place on the  car seat insert, buckling it in with the  seatbelt looped through the bottom. Once he's positive it's secure he steps back and lets Calum climb in the backseat with Olivia, smiling and offering him a short kiss before quietly shutting the door and rounding the car to get into the driver's seat.

 

"She's so small." Calum whispers, his voice barely audible over the starting engine.

 

Michael turns around and smiles, trying to quietly get a look at Olivia over the fabric hood of her carrier seat, ultimately failing and settling for admiring the soft look of awe on Calum's face. He doesn't even have anything to say really, he's just completely caught in the silent moment between their daughter and Calum. He turns back around to sit the right way as Ashton pulls onto the main road and heads for home, the smile permanently glued on his face when he reaches across the center console and grabs Ashton's hand. The oldest boy squeezes Michael's hand, trying to drive as smoothly as he can with the newly added precious cargo. It takes a lot longer to get home in the early morning work traffic, an endless wind of blinking lights and faded car horns that leaves them all in a lulled state of awareness until they reach the turn that leads down the dead end street they live on. Ashton pulls into the driveway and it feels like a procession as they get out of the car and Calum unbuckles Olivia's carrier, disconnecting it from the seat piece and carefully pulling it out of the car. Michael shuts the car door once Calum is clear of it and they all seem to stop momentarily, staring at the still sleeping Olivia and the front door to their home in turn, knowing that the second they step through, everything changes.

 

"Ready?" Ashton asks, his voice whispery as he looks at his boys and then his girl, biting his lip when Calum and Michael nod.

 

Ashton leads the way, unlocking the door and  stepping aside to let Calum go in with the baby first. The youngest boy goes right  in to the kitchen off the right of the house, setting Olivia down on the counter in her carrier. Her sleeping face scrunches up and her hands move a little, an indication that she's starting to wake up. Michael and Ashton are quick to crowd around as Olivia starts making small sounds and her big round brown eyes open slowly, looking at them. None of them can help the melting smile on their faces from how adorable she looks, her gaze fixated on  Calum as she yawns and starts fidgeting a little more underneath her bundle of small blankets. The moment of peace is short lived as Olivia's face contorts and her  fidge ting gets more frantic and she starts crying loudly, her arms extended out above the blankets and her face heartbreakingly sad. Calum reacts the quickest, reaching down and pulling the blanket from her body, unbuckling the straps holding Olivia securely in the carrier and carefully picking her up, being sure to support her head in the crook of his elbow.

 

Calum shushes her softly, rocking and bouncing her small and light body gently to try to soothe her. "Hey, little lady, it's okay. Papa's got you, it's alright Livvy."

 

"Livvy?" Michael repeats the nickname curiously, resting his chin on Calum's shoulder and looking down at their daughter.

 

Calum nods, still gently bouncing Olivia as she starts to calm down. "Thought I'd try it out."

 

"I like it." Ashton comments from Calum's other side, watching Olivia's sweet plump little face relax out of it's crying position.

 

"Me too." Michael confirms, smiling as Olivia's expression turns to something more like curiosity.

 

Olivia's tiny hands reach up towards Calum's face, flailing just a little bit as Calum leans down and starts making soft noises at her. She eventually finds some form of purchase on Calum's cheeks, gently grabbing  and trying to pull at them. Calum laughs as softly as he can, Ashton cracking up beside him and Michael  well on his way.

 

"That's so adorable, she likes your squish y cheeks just like we do." Michael  coos , a chuckle hiding behind his voice.

 

Calum's too enraptured in the way Olivia is looking at him to really say anything back, his smile squish his cheeks up further and giving the baby more to grab onto. It makes Ashton laugh harder when Olivia's hands flail and she makes a louder sound, her tiny fingers flexing and trying to latch onto Calum face more. 

 

"Silly girl." Calum laughs, stroking his finger over Olivia's cheek.

 

There's a comfortable moment of silence between the four of them, the three boys staring down at Olivia and her staring right back up, before Ashton speaks. "We should take her into her room and show her around." He suggests, already picking up the empty carrier and taking it towards Olivia's nursery.

 

Calum and Michael follow, Olivia's fascination with Calum's cheeks fading as she's carried through the wide hallway that leads to the bedrooms, hers directly across the hall from  theirs . Ashton turns the light on and Olivia's attention focuses on the new surroundings, soft sounds of content coming from her throat as her eyes land on the tree surrounded by quokkas.

 

"Oh my god." Ashton mumbles, looking at Michael likes he's trying to silently communicate something just to him.

 

Michael tilts his head, watching Ashton's expression change as he looks from the wall with the animals on it to Calum. Something seems to click with Michael then and his smile brightens as he looks at Calum, the youngest boy staring curiously at the both of them in turn as Olivia continues to make small noises.

 

"Calum, you look like a quokka." Michael announces , reaching over to squeeze both of Calum's together between one of his hands.

 

Calum looks slightly offended, looking to Ashton for back-up on the small argu ment he's sure is about to happen between himself and Michael, but the oldest boy is clearly sided with Michael on this one. Calum shakes Michael's hand away from his face and steps back so he can't get at him again. "I do not."

 

"You do too, babe." Ashton confirms, stepping over and kissing Calum's cheek.

 

Calum deflates, clearly accepting defeat since it's two against one and he's not willing to fight them both on it. When he looks at the cartoon-ish critters Ashton painted on the wall, he can't help but notice that they do actually resemble him the tiniest bit, just in the chubby cheeks and the way they seem to always be smiling. He shakes his head as Michael and Ashton laugh quietly, looking down at their daughter and biting his lip with a sigh.

 

Calum's eyes light up after a moment and his smile is huge when he looks back up at the other two boys. "Livvy looks like a quokka too. "

 

Ashton moves closer and looks from the baby to Calum to the painting on the wall and them back again before he nods with wide eyes. "She does."

 

Michael nods in affirmation. "You're both like little quokkas."

 

"Well, then the two of you have to be quokkas too, so we can be like a family of them." Calum decides, looking much too serious for the discussion they're having.

 

Michael snorts a laugh but he nods again. "We're all quokkas then." He says, stepping closer and kissing Calum's cheek before reaching his finger down and letting Olivia take a hold of it.

 

"A quokka crew, if you will." Ashton giggles, leaning his cheek on Calum's shoulder and smiling down at the little girl in Calum's arms.

 

\-------------------------------------------------

 

Michael jerks awake to the sound of coughing coming from the baby monitor sitting on the table directly next to his head.  He's still groggy but he manages to listen in closer, trying to make sure he actually heard what he thinks he heard, sitting up and grabbing the monitor and holding it up to his ear. The coughing comes again and Michael shoots out of the bed, practically sprinting out of their bedroom and into Olivia's. The five-month old is sitting up in her crib, her fingers in her mouth as she looks at Michael and lets out another short round of coughs.

 

"Hey, sweet pea, what's the matter?" Michael mumbles, worry creasing his brow as he moves closer to the crib and reaches in, picking Olivia up and holding her against his chest.

 

Olivia coughs again and Michael leans his head down to place his lips against her forehead to test her temperature. She feels warmer than usual and Michael is even more worried now, his tired body carrying them both back to his bedroom. Olivia is coughing again when Michael gets to Ashton's side of the huge bed, the sound loud in the completely silent room, and Michael is quick to reach down and roughly shake Ashton's bare arm.

 

"Ash....Ashton, get up." He calls, not even bothering to whisper and his voice wakes both Calum and Ashton at the same time.

 

"S'going on?" Calum grumbles, his eyes still closed as he turns over and faces the direction of Michael's voice.

 

Before Michael can say it, Olivia coughs again and it makes Ashton and Calum sit up abruptly, eyes wide as they look at their daughter in Michael's arms. "I think she has a fever too."

 

Ashton quickly gets out of the bed and puts his lips on Olivia's  forehead much like Michael had, pulling away almost immediately after and frowning deeply as Calum finally gets himself up, petting at Olivia's head when she coughs again. "I'll call the doctor."

 

"Ash, it's two in the morning." Calum calls after him, stopping him in his tracks as Ashton sighs and turns around, looking flustered and exhausted.

 

They all are at this point even though Olivia sleep through most nights now. It was extremely rough the first three months, night after night of crying at all hours and nothing could calm her down, but it's gotten easier. Still, the late nights and early mornings are taking tolls on all of them and it has them constantly  frazzled and right now is no exception, especially with Olivia being sick for the first time. They've had a few upsets and false alarms over the past five months but this time she's really sick, almost visibly so, and it's a lot more obvious that Olivia's actually sick this time.

 

"What do we do then?" Michael wonders, pressing a small kiss to the top of Olivia's head as she coughs again quietly.

 

The three of them go silent in thought, looking back and forth amongst themselves until Ashton perks up just slightly. "The doctor!"

 

"Ashton, we already said--"

 

"No, no, I know that." Ashton cuts Michael  off , shaking his head and grabbing his cellphone, unlocking it and dialing a number. "The doctor won't be there but they have an emergency line."

 

Ashton hits the call button, pacing the floor as Olivia coughs in Michael's arms, impatiently waiting for the call to be answered. He stops pacing the second the other line connects, quickly explaining the situation to the nurse that greets him. He sounds panicked even to his own ears, his voice shaky and higher pitched than normal, chewing at his lip even as the nurse tries to quell his worries and assure him that it sounds like just a common illness and it can be treated with medicine and lots of rest just like any adult would need. She puts in a  pre scription for the medicine Olivia will need, telling Ashton it can be picked up tomorrow morning and that for now they should give her a super small dose of  regular children's  Motrin and put her back to bed. Ashton listens to every word, not missing a beat and thanking her profusely before hanging up.  He hustles to the bathroom down the hallway, Michael and Calum following him with the baby and watching as he pours the smallest amount of Motrin into the spoon shaped measuring utensil, turning back around and biting his lip as he attempts to get the liquid into Olivia's mouth.  Getting her to open her mouth is a lot less difficult than Ashton anticipated, but swallowing the fluid proves to  be a challenge. Despite the labeled bubblegum flavor of the Motrin, Olivia clearly dislikes the taste as her mouth puckers and her face scrunches . She looks like she's about to spit it out all over Michael's arm but she doesn't her hands waving around as she swallows the medicine and looks up at Michael with a somewhat comically disgusted expression.

 

"Sorry sweet pea, I know it's gross, but it'll make you feel better." Michael comforts, bouncing Olivia gently and trying to quell the building worry in his chest that gets bigger every time she coughs.

 

Ashton pets at her head as Calum smiles and kisses Michael's cheek, looking down at Olivia's face. "Let's get her back to bed,  Mikey ."

 

Michael nods and they all walk back to Olivia's room, gingerly placing her back in her crib on her back. She's starting to look sleepy now, not coughing as much as she was, but they all still feel uneasy about her situation right now and it's clear that none of them want to leave her alone even though she's falling back asleep quickly. Calum seems to take the initiative and leave the room, coming back a minute later with blankets and pillows for the three of them, since it's clear they'll be camping out on the floor for the night. Olivia is fast asleep as they bunker down in front of her crib, lying in a snuggled pile on the floor. Ashton somehow finds himself in the middle off all of the restless limbs and tossing and turning, the worry keeping them all up and periodically checking on Olivia to make sure she's still sleeping soundly and not awake coughing anymore. She makes it through the night without anymore upsets, and as soon as the pharmacy opens Ashton is on the road to pick up her prescription, driving faster than he normally would even in his exhausted state. He makes it back in twenty minutes, walking through the front door and straight into a cloud of anxiety that's rolling off of Michael and Calum and creating a stormy atmosphere in Olivia's room.

 

Ashton moves in and pushes the two of them out, preventing them from hovering over Olivia anymore and forcing them into the hallway. "You two need to get some sleep, okay? I can feel how tired and anxious you both are, and if I can feel it then so can she and that's not good. Go get some rest, I'll wake you up if anything major happens."

 

They nod at him, albeit reluctantly, and they trudge off to their bedroom to relax finally. Ashton turns around and finds Olivia sitting up and looking at him, still letting out little spurts of coughs every so often. Ashton leans over the side of the crib and kisses her head again, feeling for her temperature and sighing to himself when she still feels just as warm as she did before. Ashton quickly gets the prescribed medicine out and reads the instructions, going to get the spoon to give it to her before dosing it out and hoping for the best. She takes it much like the Motrin the night before, with a sour face and waving hands, but she swallows it down and Ashton is relieved. He checks the side effects and sees that the medicine is supposed to make her  drousy , so he picks her up and cradles her in his strong arms as he sits down on the rocking chair. He gently rocks her back and forth, humming softly and letting her grab at his fingers and put them in her mouth, gnawing at them the way she started to do when her first tooth started coming in late last month. It's a weird feeling that he's still not quite used to, but it makes him smile down at her chubby little face and her little sprouts of dark brown hair, in awe of how adorable she is and how much he's grown to love her in just five short months. Ashton 's hooked, absolutely smitten and wrapped around her tiny finger, watching Olivia yawn in his arms as she starts to properly sing a random  song quietly to her. She falls back to sleep little by little and Ashton keeps  lulling her on, rocking gingerly and singing until she's fully resting in his arms.

 

\------------------------------------------

 

Calum is laying on his stomach on the floor with Olivia on her stomach as well, facing him and giggling when he makes funny faces at her. Calum can't help but laugh too each time she shrieks, her legs kicking wildly. Calum loves tummy time, it's his favorite activity to do with Olivia besides sleep, and he especially loves the way it makes Michael and Ashton look at him—with all the love in the world mixed around amusement. Right on cue, the two older boy's coming scurrying in through the front door, escaping the cold of the Australian winter July weather with their arms full of shopping bags and their noses and cheeks flushed red from the wind. Their faces immediately break into warm smiles when they see Calum on the floor, Olivia's giggle ringing loud in the mostly silent living room.

 

"I fucking love coming home to this everyday." Michael grins, setting the bags down on the couch and taking his coat off.

 

"Michael, language, please." Ashton scolds immediately, shaking his head and grabbing the bags Michael put down, carrying them off into their bedroom.

 

Michael sticks his tongue out at the back of Ashton's head, making Calum laugh before his attention averts back to their seven month old daughter. She's wiggling around excitedly, laughing hysterically every time Calum makes a face at her, and it even has Michael collapsing breathlessly onto the couch, clutching his stomach because her high pitched laugh is contagious. Calum snorts another short laugh, hoisting himself up on his hands and knees and leaning over Olivia, making funny noises that only serve to have her laughing harder. Calum backs away again, still on his hands and knees and he's still laughing when Olivia moves herself back and forth on her stomach, rocking around until she gets up on her own hands and knees and manages to move towards Calum a little bit.

 

"Oh my god, Michael, look!" Calum calls, the older boy having gone into the kitchen to get a drink.

 

Michael comes rushing back into the room with an open water bottle in his hands, jaw dropping when he sees their daughter crawling slowly towards Calum. "Woah! Ashton, get in here! Livvy's crawling!"

 

Ashton's feet pound against the floor, rounding the corner quickly and he catches the sight just in time, Olivia's  movement stopping when she gets to Calum. "Oh my god, she can crawl!" He yelps, his jaw dropping at the same time a huge smile spreads over his face.

 

Michael kneels down on the floor, a few feet away from  Calum , and he manages to catch Olivia's attention. "Livvy, come here sweet pea." He encourages, holding his arms out and gesturing for Olivia to move towards him, her giggle shrieking as she starts moving again. "Come on, cutie pie, come here."

 

Olivia keeps making soft sounds as she moves, noises that could almost be words but not quite yet as she crawls towards Michael. The three boys watch her with rapt attention, smiles glued to their faces as she finally gets between Michael's knees and shrieks again, giggling when Michael starts making sounds at her. He scoops Olivia up and hoists her into the air, her laughing getting louder and her feet kicking and her hands waving as Michael brings her back down to kiss her rosy little cheeks.

 

"Such a clever little girl, aren't you sweet pea?" Michael whispers to her, kissing her cheeks again before setting her down on the floor and watching her quickly crawl off toward Ashton, the oldest boy's smile huge as he watches his daughter expertly move over to him.

 

\--------------------------------------------------

 

"Livvy, sit still, please." Michael begs for the fifth time, watching the eight month old squirm restlessly in her highchair. "I'll have your lunch ready in one minute, sweet pea, just hang on." He says, dumping the pureed carrots into a bowl, some of it splashing onto his shirt as he sighs and groans at the same time. "Fuck."

 

"Michael!" Ashton calls from the living room, scolding Michael not for the first time on his language.

 

"Sorry, spilled carrots on myself." Michael explains, yanking a hand towel from the drawer under the utensils and dabbing at the splashes of mushy food on his black t-shirt.

 

Michael sighs as he makes his way over to the still squirming Olivia, setting the bowl of food down on the tray of the highchair and laying the towel over his lap. He grabs the purple colored plastic spoon and picks up some of the  mashed carrots, making the airplane noise and circling the spoon around in the air before bringing it towards Olivia's mouth. She watches it the entire time, opening her mouth just in time for Michael to spoon the orange food in. Olivia keeps the carrot in her mouth, only a little bit dribbling back out that Michael quickly catches with the spoon and pushes back into her mouth.

 

"Good girl, Livvy." Ashton  coos , coming in from the living room with a bowl and a spoon, taking it to the sink and turning the water on to wash the dishes.

 

Olivia eats another small spoonful of carrot, her arms waving excitedly as she squirms more. Michael chuckles but his amusement is short lived as Olivia's hand smacks the bowl full of mashed orange gunk, the puree flying into Michael's face and his shirt before the bowl hits the floor and the little bit left spills out.

 

Michael shoots out of his seat, his hand towel falling off of his lap and landing in the mess on the floor as he recoils from the gross taste of the carrot in his mouth. "Fuck!"

 

"Michael, honestly!" Ashton scolds again, earning a searing glare from the younger boy as he stalks back over to the drawer to get another towel.

 

Michael rolls his eyes as Ashton looks expectantly at him, waiting for an apology for the language Michael used. "Oh, stop, Ashton. She's not gonna--"

 

But Michael is cut off by Olivia making sounds again, louder than her normal volume, and it sounds more like she's trying to say something. Ashton and Michael watch her silently, their hearts pounding with excitement as they wait for her to form the word she's trying to say. It doesn't take too long for her to get it, her mouth moving faster than her brain can process but it happens and she shouts something that suspiciously sounds like "fuck". All three of them go silent, Michael and Ashton unwilling to believe they heard what they think they did, but sure enough Olivia says it again.

 

"Michael," Ashton grunts, staring daggers at the back of Michael's head, "I'm going to kill you slowly."

 

"Woah, who's killing who and why?" Calum calls, rounding the corner into the kitchen dripping in sweat from his run.

 

Ashton's harsh glare is directed at Calum now, although it's clear the venom is meant for Michael. "Our daughter just said her first word."

 

Calum's eyes pop open wider than before, smiling despite the obvious tension in the room. "What? And I missed it? What did she say?"

 

Before Ashton and Michael can respond, Olivia says "fuck" again, her letter enunciation not the best but the intention of the word is clear and Calum's mouth drops as far as it can in shock. He doesn't have to ask any more questions to understand why Ashton's killing Michael, the motivation obvious, and he sees it fit to unlatch the tray on Olivia's highchair and pick Olivia up, carrying her swiftly from the room as Ashton starts yelling at Michael. Michael is arguing back, fear and amusement mixed together in his voice but Ashton's loudness is drowning everything out. Calum shakes his head as he carries Olivia to her bedroom, the argument still loud even as Calum goes to shut the door.

 

"Fuck." Olivia shrieks, her arms waving around near Calum's head.

 

Despite the obvious problem with her speaking like that, Calum still laughs and nods at her, shutting the door as Ashton and Michael  keep yelling at each other. "Fuck  indeed, Livvy."

 

\------------------------------------------

 

Ten months old and Olivia is almost like a real functioning human being. She babbles nonsensical words constantly and sometimes they're even actual words, her habit of swearing being replaced by things like "dada" and "baba". Ashton was glad for the change, of course, delighted that their daughter won’t be a potty mouth like Michael. Right now they're all in the living room on a Sunday morning, stuffed full of Ashton's special French toast and Olivia resting on Calum's chest. They've got a Finding Dory on, a movie Olivia's come to love watching, and the little girl is talking away as the whales guide Dory around in the pipes. Calum talking back to her, just little add-ins like "oh yeah?" a nd "you think so, Livvy?", and it makes Michael and Ashton chuckle because she keeps on babbling each time as if she's answering Calum.

 

Calum chuckles as she gets more excited and says more words, looking at Michael and Ashton and realizing with a jolt that the two of them are making out on the loveseat, Michael in Ashton's lap. Calum watches with a hint of jealousy in his eyes, swallowing thickly as he catches sight of Michael's tongue licking into Ashton's mouth, but he can't even be angry with them really. Every since Olivia came, they haven't had a single second of time to themselves and even if by chance they did, they'd be sleeping because they don't get much of that. Calum briefly wishes he were over there with them, that his mouth was in the mix of kissing and brushing tongues—he's craving it really—but with Olivia against his chest and nowhere for her to really go he's stuck watching. Calum tries to turn his attention back to the movie, tries to watch but he can hear them kissing and he can't even help it when he whimpers softly and bites his lip.

 

Ashton pulls his mouth from Michael's and sees the flush on Calum's cheeks, his chest tightening with guilt as he nudges Michael  off of him and gestures towards Calum. Michael gets the hint and stands up, walking over and picking Olivia up and handing her to Ashton before putting himself in Calum's lap and attaching their mouths together. It's a welcome sensation for Calum, the smooth feeling of Michael's tongue gliding against his own is like heaven and his hands quickly find Michael's hips and squeeze, his whole body begging him for more physical contact. Michael offers it, pressing their chests together and kissing Calum a little harder, feeling the slight desperation rolling off of the youngest boy in waves.

 

"Guys, guys look!" Ashton calls from the loveseat, catching their attention and making them regretfully pull apart as they turn around.

 

Olivia is on the floor between Ashton's legs, her small hands in his huge ones, and she's standing pretty solidly with her feet planted on the ground. "Woah." Calum whispers, smiling at her with Michael still straddling his lap.

 

 

Olivia starts bouncing slightly, her knees bending and her feet lifting, almost like she's trying to jump but Michael seems to immediately understand. "She's trying to walk."

 

Ashto n's eyes widen and he looks down at Olivia and he realizes Michael's right, she's trying to walk. The oldest boy carefully stands up, his loose sweatpants hanging low on his hips and his bare upper body glistening in the early morning sunlight, glasses falling off of his nose as he keeps a tight hold on Olivia's hands. She keeps standing and bouncing her feet moving along the carpet but not really going anywhere. Ashton takes a chance and moves forward a step or two, his heart soaring when Olivia follows his steps and moves with him. He keeps walking forward slowly and Olivia keeps walking with him, small movements that are barely there but it's progress all the same and these are Olivia's first solid steps where she's actually managing to move across the floor without sitting down and having to be picked up and put back on her feet again.

 

"She's walking. She's actually walking." Calum mutters, his voice a quiet s ort of excited as he nudges Michael away and gets down on the floor. "Livvy, come here."

 

Olivia shrieks a laugh and starts beelining slowly for Calum, Ashton still supporting her with his hands holding her up by her own hands. Her bare feet slap against the carpet as she walks, stomping steps toward Calum and she's moving faster now, Ashton having to speed himself up to keep in step with her. Michael laughs from the couch as Olivia gets closer and closer to  Calum , Ashton taking yet another chance and letting go of Olivia's hands when she's within inches of the youngest boy. Ashton stays close behind her, hands ready to catch her if she should fall and Calum does the same, watching Olivia wobble as her legs keep moving the few more tiny steps it takes for her to get to Calum. Olivia manages at  lea st four steps on her own before she goes tumbling into Calum's arms, the Maori boy catching her easily and purposely rolling backward until she's in the air in his arms, giggling wildly as Calum's praises her for taking her first steps.

 

\--------------------------------------------------

 

Halloween rolls around and Ashton's only just managedto get the last of the decorations up on the house. Betweenwork and Olivia, it's taken him almost a full week to get everything up on the outside of thehouse, but he has to admit it's looks pretty good. There's cobwebs everywhere, orange lights strung up and skeletons scattered everywhere. He's even got a makeshift graveyard on one side of the front yard and he's actually quite proud of himself for getting it done even though he's literally putting the last of the decorations up on the morning of Halloween. He's just glad it's a Saturday and that he doesn't have to go to work at all, that he can just relax with his family until they take Olivia trick or treating with Luke—who insisted that he be invited to come along and they were sort of powerless to refuse their best friend. Luke's set to come over around 3:30pm, which gives Ashton several hours of his version of peace and quiet until the house explodes with the chaos that seems to ensue every time Michael and Luke are within a ten-foot radius of each other. Ashton's sure there'll be some type of shenanigans so he's glad for the silence as he lounges back on the couch in the living room, Olivia napping in her pack'n'play just a few feet away and Calum napping on Ashton's chest.

 

Michael comes tiptoeing into the room, very quietly settling himself on the loveseat and running a hand affectionately through Ashton's hair, mouthing "love you" to him when the oldest boy looks over at him. Ashton smiles and mouths it back, grabbing Michael's hand and holding it tightly as they watch the cartoons on the TV together. Ashton's other hand finds itself in Calum's soft hair, rubbing at the youngest boy's scalp to lull him back to sleep when he stirs the slightest bit against Ashton. They sit there in relatively silence for hours, the peace a welcome change to the ever-heightening excitement around the house, and before Ashton's really ready to give it up he realizes it's nearly 3:30 and that once Luke gets here it'll be a rude awakening for the still sleeping Olivia and Calum. Ashton squeezes Michael's hand to get the younger boy's attention, nodding toward Olivia and mouthing "wake her up". Michael nods back and quietly goes over to the pack'n'play, gently waking Olivia up from her nap as Ashton does the same with Calum.

 

"S'going on?" Calum mumbles, his voice raspy and confused as he lifts his head and first looks at Michael lifting Olivia out of her pack'n'play and then at Ashton's smiling face.

 

Ashton's expression is apologetic. "Sorry babe, Luke will be here soon and I figured you'd want to be up before he comes and decides he wants to wake you up himself."

 

Calum's eyes widen and he nods. "Yeah, thanks. Don't want a repeat of last time." He mutters, referring to when Luke thought it had been a good idea to dump a pitcher of water on Calum's sleeping body.

 

Michael laughs at the memory as Calum stands up and stretches, bones popping and a yawning forcing its way out. Ashton shakes his head and stands up as well, taking Olivia from Michael and walking towards her bedroom where her adorable little costume is laid out over the railing of her crib. Ashton sits Olivia in her crib for a moment, going over to the changing table with the costume in hand and setting it down before grabbing everything he'll need to change Olivia's diaper and then walking back over to get Olivia. He makes quick work of changing her diaper, an expert at it after ten months of doing it constantly, and right as he's struggling to get Olivia's costume on her he hears the front door open and Luke's loud greeting echo through the house. Ashton rolls his eyes fondly as he pulls Olivia's kicking legs through the foot holes of the  onesie style costume, her  arms going in much easier and Ashton is able to zip it up on her, glad for the loose fit so she won’t be uncomfortable all night.

 

"Where's my little niece?" Luke calls from the doorway, his voice softer than usual as he enters the room and smiles when he sees Olivia kicking around on the changing table. "And what are you dressed as, you cutie?" He wonders, Ashton stepping aside to let Luke pick Olivia up and cradle her against his hip.

 

"She's a quokka baby." Ashton grins, chuckling at Luke's head shake. "It was Michael's idea."

 

"Of course it was." Luke laughs, kissing Olivia's forehead. "And what are you three going as?"

 

Ashton notices for the first time that Luke is in costume, dressed as Han Solo from Star Wars, and Ashton's mostly surprised that he dressed as anything since Luke normally isn't one for doing so. "Uhm, Michael's making us all match Olivia so we're all quokkas."

 

Luke shakes his head again, following Ashton back into the living room where Calum and Michael are waiting, already dressed in their quokka onesies. "Go get ready Ash, we gotta leave soon because we can't have Olivia out late." Michael requests, grinning triumphantly when Ashton immediately marches off to get changed.

 

Once the oldest boy is in his costume with his shoes on and Olivia's little treat bag in hand, he leads the procession outside and they start the walk around the block for Olivia's first Halloween. Luke and Calum carry her up to every door, knocking and listening to her babble excitedly when Calum asks her to say "trick or treat". Each person at each door says something about how cute Olivia is and how great the costume is and they give her extra candy even though she can't eat any of it, Calum thanking them all with a cheerful smile and a wish for a happy Halloween. Olivia is yawning by the time they get to the last house around their entire square block,  eye lids drooping as she lays against Luke's shoulder.

 

"I think it's time to call it quits, boys." Luke suggests, smiling at Olivia's sleepy face.

 

They all nod at him and make the short walk home, ending up scattered around on the floor in a pile of sleeping quokkas and one Han Solo, candy wrappers strewn amongst them as the end credits of Hocus Pocus play on the TV screen.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

Christmas Eve finds the Irwin family plus Luke seated on the  floor again, Olivia in Michael's lap as the adults exchange gifts to each other around the lighted Christmas tree. Olivia shrieks every time the wrapping paper tears, talking in almost perfectly clear one-word sentences as she grabs for the colorful paper and waves it around excitedly.

 

"Luke, I can't believe you got me a signed Brady  jersey ." Calum mutters for probably the third time in the same minute, still in awe of his favorite player's autograph right there in front of him.

 

"Well, I know how much you love the Patriots  Cal , it was a no brainer." Luke shrugs, as if this isn't the biggest deal ever to Calum.

 

Calum just shakes his head, lost for words as the rest of the presents are given out amongst themselves. They soon realize it's nearly 10pm, way past Olivia's bedtime, and that Luke has to get back home to his own family although he'll be back over tomorrow night for Christmas dinner with said family. Luke stands up and Michael lets him take Olivia, standing up after him as Luke walks over to the front door with Ashton, still holding his niece.

 

"Alright, little cutie, I hate to say it but I gotta go." Luke pouts at Olivia, her head pillowed on his shoulder.

 

"Uh, Luke I think you're forgetting something." Michael sing-songs, crossing his arms knowingly over his chest.

 

Luke furrows his brows in confusion, looking down to the floor where Calum put all of his presents and making sure each one is there before looking back at Michael. "What?"

 

Michael points to the space just above Luke's head where he's standing by the front door, making Luke look up and chuckle when he sees the mistletoe Ashton hung there. Luke shakes his head and awkwardly leans his head down so he can look at Olivia.

 

"Livvy, can I have a kiss?" Luke requests, making kissing noises as Olivia perks up at the sound  of  her name.

 

Luke puckers his lips and Olivia leans in and kisses him with an open mouth, slobbering all over his face adorably and it makes the boys laugh loudly as Luke mutters a "thank you" before wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand. Luke passes Olivia off to Ashton and opens the front door, waving and promising he'll be back the next day with his brothers and parents as is Christmas tradition. Ashton makes quick work of getting Olivia into bed, the little girl falling asleep almost instantly as  the boys shut the door to her room most of the way, leaving just a small crack of light from the hallway.

 

 

"Let's get her presents under the tree." Calum suggests, a small smile on his lips that Michael can't help but kiss as he passes by.

 

Ashton nods and they all go to their bedroom where Olivia's pile of presents are sitting in the back of their closet, starting the procession of carrying them out to the living room and arranging them around the tree with the unopened presents for their families. It's not a ton of presents for their daughter but to be fair her birthday is on the 28 th so it was difficult for them to decide what they should do, in the end saving half of the presents they'd originally bought for her birthday and giving her the other half for Christmas. It doesn't take long for them to have it all set up, shiny paper wrapped boxes covering the floor around the tree, and then they're all off to bed to get some much needed sleep.

 

Christmas m orning is quiet, filled with the sounds of soft snores and even breathing, until the baby monitor alarms the three sleeping boys to Olivia's routine morning distress caused by her dirty diaper. Calum is the one to get up first, shuffling tiredly to Olivia's room and smiling at her adorable crying face as he picks her up and takes her to the changing table. He's not quite as good at changing Olivia as Ashton is, but he's still better and more efficient at it than Michael is, so it only takes him three minutes to get it right instead of Michael's five or six. He dresses Olivia back in her Christmas pajamas and he brings her into the room where Michael and Ashton are still cuddled together and half asleep. Calum smiles and leans over, putting Olivia on Ashton's stomach just below where Michael's arm is resting. Ashton immediately stirs at the weight on him, his eyes fluttering open and squinting in the morning light. The oldest boy smiles at Calum and grabs Olivia's hands where they rest on her own legs, holding them in his own.

 

"What are you doing, little lady?" Ashton wonders, his voice deep and raspy as Olivia giggles adorably. "Did Papa put you up to this?" He asks, chuckling when Calum blushes because he's built himself a track record of using Olivia's cuteness to wake the boys up instead of doing it himself and risking their morning wrath.

 

Michael's eyes open slowly at the sound of Ashton's voice, pouting at being woken up before he was ready. "What is going on?"

 

"Olivia decided to wake us up." Ashton informs him, his emphasis on Olivia's name giving away the fact that it wasn't Olivia at all.

 

Michael scoffs and nuzzles into Ashton's neck again, making Olivia giggle and wiggle her hand out of one of Ashton's, grabbing for Michael's hand where it rests near her feet. Michael smiles and lets her do it, holding her hand and giving in, waking himself up.

 

"Let's go open presents." Calum suggests, skipping out of the room and leaving Michael and Ashton to get themselves up and bring Olivia out to the living room.

 

Calum turns the tree lights back on and sits down on the floor just as Michael, Ashton, and Olivia come out of the room. They join him on the floor, Olivia crawling over towards the presents and swatting excitedly at the boxes.

 

"I think she's ready." Michael chuckles, scooting over and scooping Olivia up into his arms, plopping her onto his lap and pulling over the first present. "Wanna open it, Livvy?"

 

Olivia squeals loudly, arms flailing dangerously close to Michael's face as Michael starts tearing at the paper, encouraging Olivia to help him. She manages to grab the ripped piece and pull just out of excitement, the paper tearing even more and it's slow going but they eventually get it opened together. Each present goes on like that, slow tearing and a bit of shrieking at the color pictures of the toys inside the boxes until every single one for Olivia has been opened. Calum is moving all of the toys to one side of the tree when he notices two extremely small box shaped presents under the back part of the tree, one addressed to himself and the other to Michael.

 

"Ashton, what are these?" Calum asks, picking them up and holding them out.

 

Ashton's cheeks flush pink but he smiles and reaches to take Olivia from Michael. "Open them." His voice is whispery, thick with emotion as Calum furrows his brows and hands Michael the box with his name on it.

 

They tear the paper off at the same speed, confused when they see the small black boxes underneath the plain red paper. It seems like Michael catches on first, a gasp dropping from his lips and his eyes watering immediately as he looks at Ashton before pulling the lid off the box. Inside is a plain silver band that matches Calum's, the handwritten note  inside reads: Will you marry me? Calum gasps at his own matching box and ring, happy tears rolling down his cheeks as he looks at Michael and then Ashton.

 

"Yes." Calum sobs, pulling the ring out and sliding it onto his left hand.

 

"God, yes Ashton." Michael laughs, his face wet with his own tears as he puts his ring on as well.

 

Ashton sniffles through a smile, picking Olivia up more securely against his hip and sitting up on his knees, shuffling over to Michael and Calum and wrapping them into a tight hug. It's full of gleeful tears and too many emotions and kisses that aren't enough but it works for them, just like it always has and just like it always will.

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

"Happy birthday, Livvy bear!" Michael  beams , his eyes bright with happiness at his now one year old daughter sitting up in her crib and giggling at him.

 

Michael laughs back at her and lifts her up, carrying her to the changing table and starting on the quest to do this quickly.  He manages to get it down relatively fast all things considered, getting Olivia into her special birthday outfit and bringing her out into the kitchen where Calum and Ashton are bustling around preparing the food for Olivia's birthday party later in the afternoon.

 

"Boys, miss birthday girl is awake." Michael calls over the clang of dishes, bouncing Olivia around in his arms as she laughs.

 

Ashton and Calum turn around, huge smiles on their faces as they swarm her and give her kisses and wish her a happy birthday in soft voices. "Aren't you just the prettiest little birthday princess?" Ashton  coos , grabbing Olivia's hand and kissing it.

 

"She is indeed." Calum decides, kissing the top of her head before offering Michael a kiss as well.

 

Ashton pouts next to them and he's granted a double kiss from the boys and then Olivia puckers her lips for one, and who is Ashton to refuse? Michael chuckles and puts Olivia in her highchair, maneuvering around Calum and Ashton to get Olivia's baby  cereal out of the cabinet and dumping some onto the clean tray of her chair. Olivia immediately starts eating the small pieces, some of them hitting the floor as she smacks her hands excitedly against the tray.  Michael laughs and takes on the task of cleaning up after her, more cereal ending up on the floor than in Olivia's mouth as usual. Sooner than it seems possible the doorbell is ringing, and when Ashton checks the time he sees that it's 1: 30pm already and that Olivia's party is starting right now. They had a late start today, all four of them, so they've been behind schedule all day but luckily it's only Luke that comes in through the front door, his arms full of presents for Olivia.

 

"Happy birthday, Livvy." Luke  coos , his nose pushing against Olivia's when he leans over.

 

Olivia laughs loudly and grabs for Luke's face, catching his nose and his lips in her small hands and pulling lightly. It makes Luke laugh and move away from her, dislodging her grip with a giggle. More guests arrive every minute until everyone's family is in the living room watching Olivia squeal at all the gifts she's watching Calum open for her. Everyone is mingling and eating cake by the time Michael, Calum, and Ashton can catch up to each other, all of them watching their parents gather in a small group around each other with Olivia in Karen's arms.

 

"Can you believe it's been a year already?" Michael whispers, resting his head on Ashton's right shoulder and holding his hand.

 

Ashton shakes his head, kissing Michael's and then Calum's when the youngest boy leans in for one. "It's been the best year of my life, though."

 

"It's been the best year of our lives, and it's only going to get better from here." Calum says, squeezing Ashton's other hand in both of his own.

 

The two younger boys are holding onto Ashton so tightly, like they'd be completely lost without him. He can feel their engagement rings digging into his own hands when he squeezes back,  al l three of them looking at their one year old daughter laughing across the room, and Ashton thinks that maybe he'd be lost without all of them too.

**Author's Note:**

> WELCOME TO DAY 25 OF FICMAS!!!!!! Aka Christmas day and the last day of ficmas! I'm kind of sad/happy that it's the last day because I worked so hard to do this for you guys and it seems like it ended way too soon. Either way, this fic was yet another labor of love and although it isn't quite as long as yesterday's was, it's still one of the longest I've ever written. The idea behind this came from my girls Lia and Michelle and their love of babies and Mashlum, and so this fic was born. I have to give my forever love Lynn another special shout out for this one because she's been there to text me every single day about all the ideas and to literally scream about all the things that would happen in the future for this little family and don't worry, I'm already planning a second fic to this as a continuation! Anyway, if you celebrate Christmas then I hope you have a very merry and wonderful one and I hope you get to spend it with the people you love! Please leave comments and feedback below, and I love you very much<3
> 
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> tumblr: senioritastyles & babyhemhem  
> twitter: xtraceex  
> instagram: traceethekid  
> snapchat: youngtray


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